Text messages from press row . . .

Major NBA trades are rarely made between teams in the same conference, much less the same division, so Lakers fans hoping to see Shawn Marion playing alongside Kobe Bryant this season shouldn’t hold their breath. . . .

Marion, who wants out of Phoenix, probably would be better suited to the Washington Wizards’ frenetic style than to Phil Jackson’s triangle. . . .

Tiger Woods finds it laughable that competitors in sports other than golf would police themselves in the same way that golfers do. . . .

“You can imagine if an offensive lineman said, ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I held the guy, we have to take a 10-yard penalty,’ ” Woods says. “Or Michael Jordan says, ‘You know what, ref? I actually traveled on that one, it should be their ball.’ We think that’s pretty funny to say that stuff, but that’s actually how our sport works.” . . .

Unfortunately, others don’t. . . .

Of the three Pacific 10 Conference teams ranked among the nation’s top 11 this week, USC faces the least favorable schedule. . . .

The top-ranked Trojans, who play Washington on Saturday at Seattle, also will be on the road for games against No. 11 Oregon and No. 6 California. . . .

Oregon will be home to Cal on Saturday and to USC on Oct. 27. . . .

Some USC fans might be glad the Trojans are out of town this week, what with the price of parking at some lots adjacent to the Coliseum having climbed to $80. . . .

Quarterback Ben Olson, 24, is UCLA’s only married starter. . . .

None of USC’s starters is married. . . .

UCLA center Chris Joseph, an Academic All-American and geography major carrying a 3.95 grade-point average, lists his favorite classes: Introduction to Geography (“It’s eye-opening to see how small you are in the big scheme of things”); Past Civilizations and Lessons Learned (“The professor was a Pulitzer Prize winner, Jared Diamond”); and Scandinavian Literature (“I grew up in Solvang, the Danish capital of America, so it was cool to get a little perspective”). . . .

Notes Joseph, whose parents, Daniel and Sara, are a doctor and a nurse practitioner, “I do work hard at school, but I think I have natural gifts.” . . .

With 53 home runs and 151 runs batted in, American League MVP shoo-in Alex Rodriguez is only the fifth player in major league history to rack up a 50-150 season, joining Babe Ruth, Hack Wilson, Jimmie Foxx and Sammy Sosa. . . .

Ruth, Fox and Sosa did it twice. . . .

The Angels won’t have home-field advantage in the first round of the playoffs and maybe not in the second, but they would if they reached the World Series. . . .

The 103rd World Series is scheduled to start Wednesday Oct. 24 at the home of the American League champion, the first time since 1984 that baseball’s showcase event is not scheduled to open on a Saturday. . . .

Prime-time television ratings typically are 15% higher on Wednesdays than they are on Saturdays, which explains the change. . . .

Game 7 would be Thursday Nov. 1. . . .

In a story about Barry Bonds on Wednesday night, ESPN’s John Anderson referred to “the swing that launched a thousand kayaks.” . . .

Of 45 home runs that have splashed down in McCovey Cove since AT&T; Park opened under another name in 2000, 35 were hit by Bonds. . . .

Remember when NFL draft analysts noted that former Cal quarterback Aaron Rodgers had landed in the perfect place when he was drafted by the Green Bay Packers in 2005 because Brett Favre was on his way out? . . .

Favre is at the top of his game and Rodgers is still waiting. . . .

The New England Patriots, averaging 38 points a game, have scored in all 12 quarters of their first three games. . . .

London’s calling, but why is the NHL answering? . . .

It’s hard to see how anyone other than the owner of a new arena in London benefits from the Kings and Ducks opening the season overseas. . . .

That would be Philip Anschutz, who also owns the Kings. . . .

A new daily radio feature, “Real Sports Heroes with Ross Porter,” makes its debut Monday at 5:25 p.m. on 570, with the former Dodgers announcer featuring Woods, Vin Scully, Mike Scioscia, Pete Carroll and Ann Meyers Drysdale next week. . . .

Carl Edwards, who fell from third to sixth in NASCAR’s Chase for the Nextel Cup playoff standings when he was docked 25 points for a technical infraction found after his victory Sunday at Dover, Del., says the violation actually impaired his car’s performance. . . .

The car was deemed to be too low, prompting team President Geoff Smith to say, “We have the misfortune of violating a rule that makes no sense.” . . .

Low riders would agree.

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