Clemens Limps Into Last Lap

CHICAGO — What was supposed to be a bouquet-strewn farewell lap is fast turning into a slog.

Whether it was competition, camaraderie, an $18 million paycheck or all three that persuaded Roger Clemens to come back with Houston for one more go-round, it’s a safe bet he never envisioned this.

At age 42 and eight weeks into his 22nd season, the Rocket is pitching as well as he ever has. But Clemens hasn’t been able savor any of it because the guys playing behind him have rarely performed worse.

The Astros are buried so deep in the NL Central cellar they needed a periscope just to find the third-place Cubs. And the division-leading Cardinals, the other ballclub Houston hoped to pursue, are almost out of sight. That’s because the same could be said about Houston’s bats, which have produced league lows in average, slugging average, on-base percentage, home runs, runs scored and total bases. And they’re never worse than when Clemens is on the mound.

Measured that way, Chicago’s 4-2 win last week was more of the same. It extended the Astros’ consecutive-game skid to seven, dropped their road record to 2-21, and left Clemens without a decision for the fifth time in 10 starts.

“Right now, as starters,” Clemens said afterward, “we have to approach every situation like it’s the bottom of the ninth.”

He pitched that way for five innings, exiting because of tightness in his groin. Clemens extended his streak of shutout innings on the road to 26 by that point, relying on guile more than power for the last two of those, and was nursing a 2-0 lead when he left. But in keeping with the larger theme this season, Houston’s anemic bats went dead and the Cubs cobbled together three runs in the bottom of the eighth, aided by two wild pitches from usually reliable closer Brad Lidge.

Afterward, Lidge lingered on the bench, head buried in his hands.

“It seems like whatever bad can happen,” he said a few moments later, “will happen.”

And right now, there’s no end in sight.

Everybody knew offense would be tough to come by when Houston lost Carlos Beltran and Jeff Kent in the off-season, but things have gone from sublime to ridiculous. Lance Berkman tore up his knee last fall playing flag football and is hitting .179 since his return. Jeff Bagwell is still nursing a sore shoulder and the rest of the lineup only wishes they had an excuse.

So while the two runs the Astros staked Clemens in the fourth looked promising -- they averaged only two runs in each of his eight previous starts -- manager Phil Garner wasn’t fooled.

“Two runs without hitting a ball out of the infield,” he said, practically spitting out each word. “You just don’t go through this much without hitting a ball to the outfield every so often. It’s in our heads now. It’s definitely in our heads.”

It’s like a golfer who keeps missing putts, then takes foolish risks trying to hit approach shots closer to the hole. Or a basketball guard who tries to pull his team out of a shooting slump by throwing spectacular passes through heavy traffic. Because everybody tries to do too much, nobody winds up doing as much as they should.

Clemens will be tested on that point in the coming days, gingerly seeking the line between rushing back or leaving it to others to pick up the slack. He can’t do more than he has to date, from posting a major league-best ERA to driving in a pair of runs with his own bat.

But the rest of the Astros will be watching his lead even more closely now. Among the other reasons for his return, Clemens said he wanted to set an example. From his workout regimen to his exhaustive study of opposing hitters to his gritty performances on the mound, the Rocket has been everything the Astros could have asked for.

“I’d be willing to bet his legacy will be with us for a while,” Garner said.

Whether Clemens will be around by the end of the season, however, might be a more interesting wager. Whatever frustrations his starts have yielded, his competitive nature must be suffering even more. Clemens has an aching desire to win, and everywhere he turns, there are reminders of how little time he has left.

In spring training, it was a phone call from the cops reminding Clemens he was a parent of teenagers. It seems the orange Hummer that he let son Koby drive to school had been left unlocked, and then stolen. In his last start last week, Clemens got beat at home by Arizona’s Brad Halsey, who like many of the pitchers Clemens is matched against these days, was young enough to be his son. Worse still, Halsey grew up in Houston idolizing the Rocket, pitched for the University of Texas like the Rocket, and met him before an alumni game a few years ago -- even though the Rocket remembered little about it.

Speculation has been building that if the Astros are out of contention by the trading deadline, they might deal him to a contender. Given the size of his contract, the logical buyer are the Yankees, who got the Rocket his two championship rings.

Garner dismissed that possibility.

“All we have to do,” he said with a nervous laugh, “is be in the pennant race by then.”