‘Workmen’s’ Cover Story Had a Few Screws Loose

Some employees in a Redondo Beach building were watching a basketball game on television one evening when they decided to go into another office to grab some food.

“When they returned,” the Beach Reporter said, “they found two suspects removing the television from the wall. When the employees challenged them, the suspects pretended to be lost workmen on the wrong floor.” Not a bad cover story -- up to that point.

However, the intruders then “began to wipe down the television, possibly trying to destroy fingerprint evidence,” the newspaper continued. The two men “refused to mount the television back on the wall and fled quickly down a staircase.” A fast break, as they say in basketball.

They fouled out with the cops a short while later.

Food for thought: Friends, now that I have you all gathered here, let’s pause for a moment to consider the possibly threatening messages on the church marquees spotted by Bob Barbato and Geoff Kuenning (see photos). You’ve been warned.

Unusual product warnings: Monica Mitchell of Torrance noticed that a garment carried a reminder that it was not a piece of fish (see accompanying).

Good owner! Frank Barron was at a Starbucks “when a woman came in and asked for some water to give to her dog, who was waiting outside.” The clerk “poured a big glass of water and the woman then asked, ‘Do you mind putting in some lemon? My dog likes lemon in his water.’ ” Added Barron: “This was in Bel-Air, of course.”

Department of miscommunications: “I am an attorney in Los Angeles and have found that not all word processors are familiar with legal terms,” begins J. Randolph. “One of my partners practices fidelity law -- dealing with employee dishonesty. (Typical cases involve employee embezzlement.)

“When drafting a motion to the court discussing relevant case law, he dictated ‘In fidelity law ....’ However, when he received the draft, the word processor had typed ‘Infidelity law....’ This put a different spin, albeit more interesting, on the wrong committed by the employee.”

Mondegreen of the day (architectural division): “I grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania and it was always a treat to go to New York City to see all the skyscrapers,” wrote Jim McDonough.

“My friend Pat’s favorite was the tallest of the tall, the world famous ‘Entire State Building.’ She was sure it was named for what you could see from the observation deck.”

miscelLAny: Thank goodness for reruns.

Thus, even though a high-rated TV comedy is shutting down production, the bumper sticker it inspired will stay around: “Friends Don’t Let Friends Watch ‘Friends.’ ”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at [email protected].