In This Chilling Mystery Tale, the Body’s Not the Only Thing That’s on Ice

The Zamboni--Southern California’s gift to the world--is no stranger to literature.

The ice resurfacer, a colorful performer during intermissions of pro hockey games, regularly appeared in Charles Schulz’s “Peanuts” strip.

Woodstock, for instance, would often ride a tiny Zamboni atop his birdbath to replenish his ice rink there.

Other artists took notice of the machine too. A sports cartoonist in USA Today once depicted a player who got five minutes in the penalty box for fighting. With the Zamboni.

Now, the gizmo, invented by Paramount businessman Frank Zamboni, has found a new genre.

Bob Patterson writes that author David David Katzman (yes, yes, that’s his name) has published a detective mystery titled “Death by Zamboni.”

I haven’t read it yet, but I assume the climax of the book involves a low-speed chase.

I’m sure Woodstock is not a suspect.

Stepping right along: Michelle Mimlitsch of Irvine passed along an Internet ad apparently aimed at folks who have an avid interest in other folks’ feet (see accompanying).

Young Blue Eyes: Oddest gift suggestion I’ve come across was advertised in the Wireless catalog--billed as “a memento of young Frank Sinatra’s brush with the authorities. . . . The 22-year-old entertainer was arrested for ‘seduction’ under false promise of marriage to a female of good repute. The charges were eventually dropped” (see photo).

The 21-inch-by-35-inch photo sells for $89 framed and $25 unframed.

I think Frank claimed at the time that he was framed.

Smile when you say that: J. Simon of Laguna Woods found one of those guarantees that could be interpreted in a couple of ways (see accompanying).

Signature lines (cont.): Ellen Bloom, former host of the Friday Night Blues Revue on KPCC-FM (89.3), passes along these trademark phrases of radio broadcasters:

* “Always with you, always near. Always playing what you want to hear.”--Wolfman Jack

* “Solid Ted, ‘nuff said. Take what you got and go ahead. Looooku-poo, all through. Later Gator, gotta cut.”--sign-off of host Billy Vera

* “We’re sneakin’ and creepin’ into your souls with the blues that rocks and the blues that rolls.”--sign-on of Bloom’s former co-host John “Juke” Logan

Bloom adds: “One of my all-time favorites, now out of date, was from a deejay in the South in the early ‘50s. I can’t remember his name. He was speaking about 78 rpm and 45 rpm records (what are those?!) He’d say, ‘Tonight we’re gonna play the pick of the pack of waxy shellac!’ ”

Stupid criminal tricks: L.A. County sheriff’s deputies in Paramount arrested a parolee for illegally possessing a firearm. And what aroused their suspicions? The parolee accidentally shot himself while cleaning the gun, they said.

miscelLAny:

The police log of the Irvine World News carried a report about the grand theft of a cell phone “in go-kart.” At least the thief didn’t also rip out the driver’s CD player.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at [email protected].