LAUGH LINES

Dry Run: “Photos reveal that Mars was once rich in water. A new analysis shows that much of the Red Planet, at one time, was covered with lakes and shallow seas. The bad news is they dried up eons ago--like the Clippers.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Bride-to-Be: “Madonna announced she’s going to marry her longtime boyfriend, British film director Guy Ritchie. Thank God! Maybe now, Madonna will be too busy with wedding plans to make any more really bad movies.” (Andrew Wisot)

Sending Him Off: “Halliburton Co. [the oil services firm] honored Dick Cheney with a retirement party in Dallas. It was described as a small, private affair. Let’s hope that line works better for the Bush [team] than it did for the Clinton administration.” (Argus Hamilton)

Flight and Punishment: “The FAA is considering fining Alaska Airlines . . . for flying planes that were poorly maintained. If you really want to punish them, make the company’s executives fly coach and eat the food.” (Paul Steinberg)

Breaking the Ice: “A San Francisco development group wants to build a floating hotel that’s an exact replica of the Titanic. . . . It will have 568 rooms, eight dining areas--and no ice machines.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.