Getting on With Our Program . . .

And, now (sound of drumroll), it’s time for the “Only in L.A. Holiday Special!” Just to get in the mood, let’s begin with a few new interpretations of Christmas standards by grade school students, overheard by Jessie Buster and Phyllis Waggner:

* Feliz naughty dogs, feliz naughty dogs . . .

* How come all ye faithful . . .

* Then one froggy Christmas eve . . .

FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE: Traditions are a big part of this season, so I hope you’ll excuse me if I bring back a heartwarming snapshot sent in last year by Lisa Yoshida (see photo). It shows a “Gift Certificates” ad in the window of an L.A. business that caters to people who drive their sleighs too fast--a traffic school.

NOW FOR A TRAFFIC REPORT: The book “The Night Before Christmas in California,” by Catherine Smith and Steve Egan, begins:

On the night before Christmas,

All down 101,

The traffic was deadlocked;

It wasn’t much fun.

(Don’t forget--traffic reports every 20 seconds in Only in L.A.)

LEFTOVER FROM THIS COLUMN’S THANKSGIVING SPECIAL: Mark Blinoff of La Crescenta says that when he rented a recreational vehicle for a Thanksgiving vacation, the manager at that location told him business had improved this year because people had a four-day weekend for that holiday. Thanksgiving was on a Wednesday last year, the manager added, complaining that midweek holidays really hurt his business.

“I tried to explain to him that Thanksgiving was always on Thursday,” Blinoff said, “but he was adamant. . . .”

TRAFFIC UPDATE: Santa finally breaks out of the traffic jam in “The Night Before Christmas in California,” which concludes:

From Southland to Napa,

Sierras to coast,

Came a message from Santa,

More grateful than most.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

(Remember, this is your column for frequent traffic bulletins.)

NOW FOR A LOOK AT THE SURF: No holiday is complete without Joe Klein’s “Christmas in Malibu”--on Radude Records, of course. It’s the sentimental tale of a hang-10er who finds a surfboard left by Santa:

Put my wet suit on quick,

Paddle out on that big old red stick.

Then the best waves I’ve ever seen

Start rollin’ in.

A gift just for me from St. Nick.

TRAFFIC ADVISORY: “I was driving through Coldwater Canyon,” says Robert Newcombe, “and saw a guy on the side of the road selling--no, not oranges, not flowers, but a Sleep & Snore Ernie doll for $250.”

(You give us 2.2 minutes and we’ll give you the weird.)

BACK TO THE MUSIC: What could be more fitting than a few strains from “Christmas in L.A.,” written by Dick Jones?

I know that Christmas in L.A.

Is like a dream come true.

And just let me say

I hope you’ll be there too.

So don’t complain dear

If there’s no reindeer racing through the blue.

You’ll find that Santa’s on his way

And he’ll spend Christmas in L.A.

(That reference to “the blue” was to L.A.’s sky, in case you were wondering.)

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And, finally, Gustavo Loera came upon an Arcadia street sign that was edited for the holidays (see photo)--and echoes this column’s sentiments exactly. Have a happy holiday, whether the skies are froggy or not.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.