One Opinion: Lakers Facing Long Dry Spell

Bob Ryan in the Boston Globe, commenting on the NBA champion Chicago Bulls: “So who is going to dethrone them? The Heat, with Alonzo [Mourning] disappearing in the big games? The Knicks? Don’t be ridiculous. Detroit and/or Atlanta with their nonexistent inside games?

“The group therapy session known as the Seattle SuperSonics? The Shady Side Rest Home known as the Houston Rockets?

“And, um, no, don’t say it. Don’t speak it. Don’t even think about suggesting that the team in L.A. can even deal with the Bulls as long as their best player can’t even spell the word champion.

“Michael vs. Shaq: The Complete Works of Shakespeare vs. a Comic Book.”

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Trivia time: What do the Cleveland Rebels, Detroit Falcons, Pittsburgh Ironmen, Providence Steamrollers, St. Louis Bombers and Toronto Huskies have in common?

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Give me a Z: Jerry Crasnick of the Denver Post gives an example of how “loopy” Detroit fans are over their Stanley Cup champion hockey team.

Before a recent baseball game, the guy who drives the Zamboni at Joe Louis Arena took a bow before the Tiger Stadium crowd.

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Say what? Bill Peterson, former Houston Oiler and Florida State football coach: “This is the greatest country in America.”

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Juice transfer: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Andrew Smith of San Francisco on the flood of inside-the-park homers this season: ‘Last season the balls were juiced, this year it’s the outfielders.’ ”

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Snail’s pace? Jim Caple of ESPN SportsZone on statements that players such as Ken Griffey Jr. are “on pace” to break baseball records: “I mean, if you go back far enough, Vanilla Ice was on pace to have a musical career.”

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Small gallery: Television commentator Johnny Miller during the U.S. Open: “The only one who likes [David] Ogrin’s swing is his mother.”

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Wishful thinking? David Moore of the Dallas Morning News on Michael Jordan’s illness in Game 5 of the NBA finals: “If it’s really the flu, how come NBC’s Ahmad Rashad didn’t come down with it?”

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FYI: The Jamaican bobsled team, an Olympic novelty in 1988 at Calgary and the inspiration for a movie, “Cool Runnings,” will base its training operations for the 1998 Winter Games in Evanston, Wyo. The Jamaican sledders finished 14th in the four-man event in 1994 at Lillehammer, Norway.

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Looking back: On this day in 1941, Joe Louis knocked out Billy Conn in the 13th round at the Polo Grounds in New York to retain the world heavyweight title.

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Trivia answer: They were among the original NBA franchises in 1946-47.

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And finally: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “New York Knicks’ annoyance John Starks underwent surgery to repair ligament damage. On the middle finger of his left hand.

“Guess he wanted some of the ligaments Albert Belle has.”