These Greens Fees Could Get a Little Costly

Three U.S. Marines on a joy ride across the Prestonwood Country Club in Cary, N.C., earlier this month damaged the greens, stole 25 flags and a ball washer, according to Golfweek.

They all face charges in the surprise attack.

The Nike Carolina Classic on May 8-11 continued despite the damages estimated at $50,000.

From the Halls of Montezuma to the greens of Prestonwood!

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Trivia time: Who was the coach of the Miami Heat in its inaugural 1988-89 season, and what was the team’s record under him?

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Gamesmanship: Chicago Bull Coach Phil Jackson, on Heat counterpart Pat Riley’s coaching philosophy:

“Foul them on every play and see if you can get away with it.”

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Old habit: Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post, on the suspensions that contributed to the New York Knicks’ ouster from the NBA playoffs:

“The rule may be bad, but it is clear: Don’t leave the bench. The rule was put in because Greg Anthony once jumped off the bench, in street clothes, and sucker-punched another player; do I need to mention that at the time Anthony was with the Knicks?”

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Light burns out: Colorado Rocky third base prospect Tal Light made two throwing errors in the first four innings for double-A New Haven against the New Britain Rock Cats, then was demoted before the game was over, according to the Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph.

That is, the game was suspended because of rain and by the time it resumed next day, Light had been shipped to a Class-A team after making 16 errors in 26 games.

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Vicious! From Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune: “Seeking a new challenge after Deep Blue defeated chess master Garry Kasparov, the computer designers at IBM have accepted the offer of White Sox Manager Terry Bevington to match wits with whatever artificial intelligence they may deem sufficient.

“In response, IBM has sent over a doorknob.”

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Yo ho ho: Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, on the overachieving and relatively anonymous Pittsburgh Pirates:

“You probably can name more ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ than you can Pirates of Pittsburgh.

“These guys are so unknown, you ask a Pirate his name, he checks the ID in his wallet.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1985, the Lakers scored a team playoff-record 153 points against the Denver Nuggets in winning their NBA Western Conference final series, four games to one.

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Trivia answer: Ron Rothstein, and the Heat’s record was 15-67.

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And finally: Mr. Burns of “The Simpsons,” talking about the effects of working at a nuclear power plant: “It’s left me as impotent as the Nevada State Boxing Commission.”