Let’s not make a stink:California sea lions...

Let’s not make a stink:

California sea lions aren’t scared of many creatures in the wild, points out Hugh Ryono of the Marine Mammal Care Center in San Pedro. Sharks and killer whales, but that’s about it.

Oh, yes, and apparently a recent black and white invader that crept near a pool at the Ft. MacArthur recovery facility. It left a sea lion frozen with fear. It was a small skunk.

The sea lion “floated in the middle of its pool with its mouth open, staring at the little creature. It was so scared that it couldn’t even get a decent sea lion bark out,” Ryono said.

Facility volunteers, who would think nothing of “confronting the pit bull-like jaws of an agile sea lion,” sprayed a mist of water near the skunk--gently--fearful “of getting a fouler-smelling spray in return.” The strategy worked. The intruder left. For the rest of the day, Ryono said, the sea lion peered over the wall of its pen, as though keeping a lookout for this newly discovered land shark.

PRESS RELEASE OF THE DAY: “A picture of Miss Shirley Maclaine, autographed by the actress and presented to Jamaican clairvoyant Dr. Ernesto Moshe Montgomery, began shedding tears at the headquarters of the Beta Israel Temple in Los Angeles.”

Perhaps the picture was shedding tears over Maclaine’s flop sequel to “Terms of Endearment.”

DUELING DEALS: Cynthia Siemens of Altadena noticed a discount offer from a weight control clinic that warned about--what else?--discount offers.

WE KNOW SOME 2-YEAR-OLDS WHO COULD NEVER BE HARNESSED: A Long Beach hair salon displays a sign that says, “All children running loose and unattended will be towed away at owner’s expense.”

THE OVITZ PRECEDENT: Why the uproar over Disney’s firing of Mighty Ducks coach Ron Wilson after he led the team into the playoffs? Surely, Disney boss Michael Eisner will give Wilson the standard $120 million payout, right?

THEN AGAIN, YOU HAD TO EXPECT A SPINOFF FROM A HIT SERIES: Jerry Cowle of Pacific Palisades writes that “after overdosing on six hours of (TV’s) “The Last Don,” I thought I was hallucinating when I saw this ad in our local weekly.” He was referring to a notice from “The Godfather of Real Estate,” who identified himself as “Daniel (The Don) Pasquale.” Guess you have to expect spinoffs in this town.

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You were probably taught that the Spanish explorer who explored the present United States was Hernando Cortez. Well, Norm Schneider purchased a videotape of the movie, “Captain from Castile,” which contains a plot summary saying that Tyrone Power stars as a swashbuckling captain who follows “Herman” Cortez (Cesar Romero) to the New World. Schneider suspects Herman was searching not for riches but for “the perfect bagel.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles, CA 90053.