Sorority king:Aspiring writer/actor Steve Mozena cornered actor...

Sorority king:

Aspiring writer/actor Steve Mozena cornered actor Jim Carrey at a party and recounted how he once lived in a sorority with 70 women. Mozena said he’d write a screenplay about his experience if Carrey would play the lead role. “We’d make millions,” enthused Mozena.

“Hey,” responded Carrey, “you already had your payoff.”

STUFF HAPPENS: Mojo Gledhill of Monrovia found a newspaper ad for a Port-a-Potty with an abbreviation of the word “message” that could have been misinterpreted (see excerpt).

WHERE’S THE COURT REPORTER’S TRANSCRIPT? This is Juror Appreciation Week but the balloons and streamers were missing from the Van Nuys courthouse on Monday. Not only that, but a terrible thing happened to the jury candidates who were watching TV’s “Oprah Winfrey” show. Oprah asked her guest, retired prosecutor Marcia Clark, whether she had an affair with ex-colleague Christopher Darden. Just as Clark was about to answer, the jury boss asked that the sound on the TV be muted so she could call a panel.

LIST OF THE DAY: Some entertainment memorabilia on sale at Sotheby’s auction in Beverly Hills next Wednesday (estimated worth in parentheses):

* A flying saucer from the movie “Independence Day,” painted gray, with several window holes ($1,000 to $2,000). Don’t plan to do any traveling in it, though. It’s 21 inches by 24 inches.

* The “original set” of horseshoes of TV’s Mister Ed ($8,000 to $10,000).

* A Fletcher Christian costume worn by Marlon Brando in his slimmer days in “Mutiny on the Bounty” ($3,000 to $4,000).

* Ralph Kramden’s bus driver uniform, worn by Jackie Gleason in TV’s “The Honeymooners” ($15,000 to $25,000). Poor Kramden. So many failed get-rich-quick schemes--and all he had to do was sell his uniform.

* The pinhead mask from the movie “Hellraiser” (see photo), covered “in grid and pin design, offered in Lucite case” ($4,000 to $6,000).

* A plaster brick prop painted gold for the movie “Goldfinger” ($500 to $700). Only a pinhead would pay that much, if you ask us.

ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF BOOBS? A while back, all-sports radio XTRA unveiled an ad campaign that featured the phrases “Fake Left” and “Fake Right” alongside the chest of a female swimsuit model.

The ads were removed from MTA buses after complaints that they were derogatory to women. It was reminiscent of the time Popeye’s Chicken abandoned the slogan, “The best breasts in L.A. without plastic surgery.”

The difference is, XTRA is continuing the campaign elsewhere, lining the freeways with the billboards. One XTRA official expressed puzzlement over the MTA rejection, saying, “It’s nothing you don’t see at the Oscars.”

We don’t remember seeing the words “Fake Left” and “Fake Right” on any gowns at the Oscars but we always fall asleep before the program is over.

miscelLAny

Dodger pitcher Hideo Nomo has sued the wife of San Diego Padre outfielder Tony Gwynn, claiming she didn’t get permission before selling a jigsaw puzzle with Nomo’s picture to a Japanese company. We have a hunch that this will be her defense: Nomo put together the puzzle wrong! It’s not him. It’s actually Marlon Brando.