Can One Movie Contain These Two?

NEW YORK — Robin Williams and Billy Crystal, Nos. 1 and 23, respectively, on Entertainment Weekly’s recent ranking of the funniest comedians working today, are seated in a hotel room in midtown Manhattan. It’s hard to believe that they are that far apart in the ranking.

Williams, 45, is well-known for his manic improvisations. Crystal, 49, is more structured but no less fast on his feet. Williams is hot off “The Birdcage” and “Jack.” Crystal, of course, recently made a celebrated return as host of the Oscars. Together, they’ve appeared with Whoopi Goldberg as emcees of a series of benefits called Comic Relief. Because of these appearances and their long friendship and their shared love of the same comic traditions, they often finish each other’s sentences.

Here they talk about their relationship and “Fathers’ Day,” the first movie in which they’ve shared top billing (both appeared last year in Kenneth Branagh’s “Hamlet”). The movie, which opens Friday in general release, is an adaptation of a French film called “Les Comperes,” about a lawyer (Crystal) and a loser (Williams) who believe they have fathered the same child.

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Question: Do you get nervous for Billy on the Oscars?

Williams: Yeah, but this year he kicked. I left him a message saying, “You kicked, Daddy.” They keep saying, “Why don’t you host the Oscars?” I say, “Look at me.” I can imagine me doing the Oscars and then Gregory Peck saying, “You grabbed your crotch, boy. You don’t need to grab your genitals in front of the world. Don’t bring out the puppet.”

Crystal: When I was debating whether to do it, we would talk and I would say, “Should I do it?” And he was encouraging. He said, “If you feel you can kick, it may be time to go back.”

Williams: But you came out and after that opening thing--it was the best opening they’ve ever had because it made fun of everything. When you made fun of “The English Patient” right off the bat, you don’t come in and go, “Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Valenti.”

Crystal: It was a great way to take the stage without taking the stage. We matched the lens sizes [on “The English Patient”] and everything. The lighting across my face. It was the Warren Beatty-on-”Larry King” lighting.

Q: How far back do you guys go? I understand that Robin was on Billy’s TV show [“The Billy Crystal Comedy Hour”].

Crystal: Yes, he was. It was 1980, 1981. We did the punk Honeymooners. But we’d met in 1977 when I was doing “Soap” and he was about to do “Mork & Mindy.” We did a benefit in San Francisco together. It was the first time I’d seen him perform live and he for me. I did a very quiet little piece about this old black jazz musician I knew as a kid, called Face. And he came out with these make-believe bloodhounds, went through the audience and was wild.

Q: You remember bits from 20 years ago?

Williams: Yeah, they were kind of significant because it was the first good review I ever got. It was also the first time I’d ever played in front of that many people. Over the years it’s been a friendship that’s grown--the Comic Reliefs have helped--but it’s just from hanging out more and more as we get older.

Crystal: We were on vacation together in Hawaii. People go out and play tennis. We’d put on the TV and turn the sound off and do the lines. [Williams starts melodramatically reciting dialogue from what sounds like a Spanish soap opera.]

Q: What did your wives do when you did that?

Crystal: “There they go again.” But when we started doing Comic Relief together almost 10 years ago, the stuff we did onstage was always phenomenally. . . .

Williams: When we were finished it was like “Wow.” For me it was cheaper than Prozac. It was this amazing exhilaration. Especially the last one.

Crystal: And it developed a persona for us, which was bad boy and daddy.

Williams: Sounds like a number you call. 976-DADDY.

Crystal [laughs]: It developed a Dean and Jerry, whatever you want to call it. It became a way of working with each other that got to be tremendous fun. He’ll just go and then he’ll look at me and say, “Dad, have I been bad?” “Yes.”

Williams: And then with this movie, how do you find that place where you can get that dynamic? I think these characters approach that and stay within the boundaries of human behavior, where he’s the center and I’ll fly off and he reacts off of that. It’s that kind of physics.

Q: Weren’t you trying to write a script of your own?

Williams: Years ago we had--what was that one that guy sent about two cops who founded their own religion? Forget about it. The Church of Me. Forget Scientology. I don’t know why I’m talking in a Chicago accent. What is that about?

Crystal: A lot of years had gone by and I had changed agencies, and when I went to CAA they said, “Have you ever seen this movie, ‘Les Comperes’?” I said I’d heard about it, I hadn’t seen it. I watched it that night, and I said this could be great for us. I called Robin and sent it up and he loved it. They were very good characters for us. It was sort of what we had been doing.

Q: How did you shape the script?

Williams: It was shaped over a period of time. It needed work. For me it was kind of a question of, “Do you jump in on something that needs work?” The basic reason I’m doing this is because of him. I remember on “Survivors” they said we’ll fix it, and I ended up nude in a field going, “What happened?”

Crystal [laughs]: We had a few readings. We would read and see what it felt like and then go off and hone it down. We shot a lot of things that ended up not being in the movie because the movie started to present itself.

Q: Director Ivan Reitman was also overseeing two other movies, “Space Jam” and “Private Parts.”

Williams: Yeah. Sometimes we had to kind of wait. But when he kicked in, he kicked in. He has instincts about rhythm, pace, what a scene needs. That’s what he told us about those dramatic scenes [that were cut]. He said, “Listen, I’m sorry, but they don’t work.” I said, “That’s fine. You have to pick what drives the movie.” I’ve taken enough crap about sentimental stuff, so I figured if it’s sentimental, lose it. That’s why I’m looking like I’m in the Chabbad Telethon. I’m doing a thing with Gus Van Sant, playing a therapist from South Boston. I’d rather go the other way now. I’ve done Mr. Rogers. It’s time to play something different.

Q: What was [producer] Joel Silver’s contribution to the movie? Was it the head-butting?

Williams: I think it’s the Port-o-San.

Crystal: The Port-o-San going over the hill. I love it. Actually, Joel delivered Mel Gibson [in a cameo]. The head-butting is left over from the original movie.

Williams: It’s weird that people respond to it. It’s one of the most brutal things you can do in a fight. In Scotland they call it the Glasgow Kiss. This used to be the quiz: “You know a good surgeon?” “No.” “Because you need one.” [Mimics head-butting.] It’s usually Celtic. It’s Celtic foreplay. “I love you. Eaugh! Eaugh!”

Q: You guys should do a road movie, like Hope and Crosby. [They go into a frenzy of Bing Crosby imitations.]

Crystal: We did feel at times confined by these guys. We talked about doing something where we can play a lot of people.

Williams: I love the idea of traveling around, going across the country, and in different places you and I would talk to other people and we’d be all the other people.

Crystal: I haven’t done character stuff since 1990. I miss doing that. We would have to have a good story.

Williams: Someday we’ll find it. But with your schedule and my schedule it’s going to be a while--”Road to Mars.”