A Memo to Shaq: Now Is the Time

All right, Miss Kelly B., let’s take a memo to Shaquille O’Neal. That’s right. Shaq, himself. Slug it “urgent.” Also, “personal.”

Dear Shaq,

I know we’ve been over this before, old buddy, but in the middle of the playoffs, it bears repeating.

It’s about the championship, Shaq. You know, the top of the NBA heap.

Shaq, I don’t know how to broach this to you, but I have to reemphasize it in case you’ve forgotten about your responsibility in this matter.

Look, Shaq, it’s imperative L.A. win this title. As they say in other sports, this is what it’s all about. No compromise. This is one case where winning is everything.

Remember when they had that first America’s Cup yacht race and the U.S. won it and Queen Victoria asked her sailors who was second and their captain said, “Your Majesty, there is no second.”

Well, that’s the case here, Shaq. Look! They gave you all that money--what was it, 40, 50, 100 million? Something like that. Enough to buy a railroad.

They figured they were buying something else. They figured they were buying the championship, Shaq. It’s a Laker tradition.

Check your history, Shaq. Back in 1968, the Lakers were tired of finishing second every year to the Boston Celtics because they didn’t have a big man in the pivot. So Jack Kent Cooke went out and got the biggest--Wilt Chamberlain himself.

Now, Wilt had ricocheted between the Philadelphia and San Francisco franchises and had one championship to show for it--Philadelphia, 1967. But he had Bill Russell to try to dunk over in those days. And Russell had won 12 championships, eight in a row.

Wilt had these great stats. Threw in 50.4 points a game one year, led the world in rebounds. But no flags on the roof. You get my drift here, Shaq?

Well, Russell was in his final season by the time Wilt got to L.A. and Wilt finally paid off. He led the Lakers to a crown in 1972.

By that time, Wilt had figured something out. His point total dropped from 2,500-3,500 a year--he had a high of 4,029 in 1961-62--to 1,200-1,600. But his assists went from a low of 148 a year up to a league-leading 702 one year.

Something to think about, right, Shaq?

By that time, Cooke was casting eyes at the new kid on the block--a fellow named Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He had won a championship at Milwaukee (with a little help from a fellow named Oscar Robertson), but he wasn’t happy there. Jack twisted a few arms and got Kareem to L.A. in 1975.

That resulted in five championships for the Lakers. To be sure, Kareem didn’t pay off immediately. Not till a rookie named Magic Johnson showed up here in 1979.

Beginning to see a pattern here, Shaq?

Now, in terms of 1960-1970 values, Cooke spent a lot of money for Wilt and Kareem. But, the top salary in the league in 1960 was only $19,000. Chamberlain had left much more than that on the table when he left the Globetrotters because he didn’t care to play Barnum & Bailey basketball for a living.

But Cooke didn’t hypothecate the huge dollar package you got, Shaq.

So, I think what we have here is a simple case of quid-pro-quo, Shaq.

I mean, we’re not talking in terms of “doing our best,” or “the old college try,” or any other malarkey. We’re talking “Show me the money!” here or, “Show me the championship, Shaq!”

It’s implicit in that contract of yours. Jerry Buss wants that title flag hanging from the rafters.

They got lots of guys “doing their best.” The Clippers got guys doing that.

Your “best” is not good enough, Shaq. We’re talking championships here, not solo art.

You ask me how to do it? How should I know, Shaq? I just set policy here. Implementation is somebody else’s problem. Yours, for instance. As Al Davis says, “Just win, baby!”

It isn’t as if you said, “Well, I got my 35 points, too bad about the team.” Your stats are impeccable too, Shaq. But, what we’re looking for here is not “Nice try!” but “Take that!” In-your-face stuff. You’re the “go to” guy. Attract a crowd, then go to the open man, maybe. You figure it out. Earn the money.

I’m glad to see you’re paying attention to your free-throw shooting, at last. Sixty percent from the line in the playoffs is better than your 48%. Or your 39% of last year’s playoffs. You can’t let these guys put you on the line, knowing they’re trading a sure two-point basket for a one-pointer. Or a no-pointer. Wilt was about a 50% free throw shooter most of his career--.380 in 1967-68. Abdul-Jabbar was in the 70s in free-throw percentage. Lord, Shaq, can’t you almost touch the basket from the foul line?

So, to sum up, Shaq, let’s make no mistake about it. You’re supposed to come with that old gonfalon attached. How you do it is your problem. As that shoe ad says, Just do it! Never mind the Mailman, the Admiral, Hakeem the Dream, the Worm or even mighty Michael the Archangel. You the Man, Shaq!

Now that you’ve eliminated all those 6-2 dudes from Portland comes the fun part--Utah. No matter. You have to beat them. Period. Down the line, here comes Mr. Jordan. Piece of cake! Right, Shaq? Better be.

You come home wrapped in the pennant, Shaq. Look at it this way: You don’t have any Bill Russell to get by. Michael Jordan? Pshaw! Michael Jordan would have had to shoot from midcourt all night to score over Bill Russell.

You got the shadows of Wilt and Kareem looming over you in the media guide. You want to be the one who didn’t win the championship? I don’t think so. You want a guy to be saying some day, “Who was that guy who came after Wilt and Kareem? The one who couldn’t get the championship?” And you want the other guy to say, “I don’t remember. Hack O’Hara, or something like that.”?

I don’t think so. So, cut to the chase, Shaq. We’re tired of the Chicago Bulls and the Houston Whozits around here. It’s time order was restored. You can do it. You have to. That’s what they gave you all the money for.

Yrs. Insincerely,