A little respect, please: Sure, he’s received...

A little respect, please: Sure, he’s received some negative press in recent months over prosecutorial foul-ups. But surely Gil Garcetti deserves better than this--the 1994 Parker Directory of California Attorneys lists him as:

“District Attorney--Gil Garcia.”

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We thought this was why the Green Giant was so jolly: Since we’ve been on the subject this week, we should point out that the October issue of Harper’s Magazine mentions another urban folk tale--that green M & Ms are aphrodisiacs. Ain’t so, the article adds.

But so persistent is this myth that in Santa Monica, entrepreneur Wendy Jaffe packaged green candies into a product called The Green Ones a few years ago. They were passed out on St. Patrick’s Day along with green condoms.

And Mars Candy, the maker of M & Ms, went to court and forced her company to change the name to The Greenies.

This warning was put on the The Greenies’ wrappers: “Not recommended for prisoners, priests or frat guys.”

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More urban legends: Harper’s lists some other oft-told tales, which were culled from the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) file, an Internet group maintained by Terry Chan, an economist in Berkeley.

A few examples (and the results of Chan’s research):

* “If mold grows on a Twinkie, the Twinkie digests it. (False)”

* “Welding while wearing contacts can cause them to stick to your eyeballs. (False)”

* “Microwaving panties kills yeast infections. (Believed false but not conclusively proven).”

* “A congressional page or an elevator operator asked U.S. Rep. Fred (‘Love Boat’) Grandy (R-Iowa): ‘Lido Deck, sir?’ or ‘Promenade Deck, sir?’ and was subsequently fired. (False)”

We knew Congressman Gopher would never do that.

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What--no Brady Bunch cult?One of the apocalyptic groups spotlighted in the “Cult Rapture” exhibit at a Seattle art museum is the Partridge Family Temple, which says it worships the old TV show. And not for its campy quality, either. Rather, for its pearls of wisdom. And, yes, the group’s based in L.A.

“We have no rules other than clearing your heart of guilt and pity,” a temple member identified as Partridge in a Pear Tree said at the opening. “We’re all on that Partridge Family bus traveling at 88 m.p.h. into the great abyss on the horizon. So we’re trying to have as much fun as possible while we still can.”

Take along some green M & Ms.

miscelLAny In celebration of National Bald is Beautiful Day today, radio station KIIS-FM is inviting contestants to toss pieces of Velcro-lined toupees at the bare heads of four men in barber seats in Beverly Hills. No doubt future generations will regard this event as nothing more than an urban myth.