Firepower for That Special Someone in Your Gun Sight

Just in time for Christmas, the latest issue of Soldier of Fortune magazine has arrived, giving Second Amendment fanatics lots to choose from. While some of us shop for people whose wardrobes are depleted, this magazine is for people whose arsenals are depleted.

Keep in mind, however, that these aren’t typical holiday gift ideas, in that many of them are outlawed in California. That doesn’t stop you, however, from sending them to friends or loved ones in other states.

Here’s a sampler, complete with verbatim information from the various retail advertisers offering the items:

Pistol crossbow: “This compact pistol version of the deadly and silent crossbow is now available . . . fully adjustable sights, amazingly accurate and comes in two different versions and comes with three practice arrows.” Cost: $49.95 to $59.95.

Pneu-gun: “A fistful of security. It is only 14 inches long when assembled and fires out a lead pellet-filled ‘shot bag’ at a muzzle velocity of 250-300 feet per second. One carbon dioxide gas cartridge supplies sufficient energy to knock down a 300-pound assailant 20 feet away. Legal, effective, yet safe to use.” Cost: $169.95.

Lev-R-Lok: “Faster than a switchblade . . . Winner of Blade Magazine’s ’93 “Knife of the Year” award. Cost: $59.95.

Plastic Knuckles: “New product molds directly to your hand, making a custom-fitting hand guard. Excellent for self-protection and martial arts.” Cost: $5.95 each, $9.95 for two.

Night-vision rifle scopes: “Own the starlight technology used by the KGB, Russian commandos and military for night surveillance and combat! Feather light, U.S. mount; adjustable windage and elevation; optional infrared illuminator pinpoints targets with invisible lights. Cost: $995.

Blowgun: “Blowgun blowout! Authentic, full-size five-foot seven-inch when fully assembled. This is not a toy! Disassembles into three sections for storage. Comes with parts to make 12 darts.” Cost: $13.50.

Rocket launcher: “Get your own military-style rocket launcher. The XK-1A puts power at your fingertips. Designed after the LAW rocket launcher used by the U.S. military, the XK-1A features a two-stage electronic ignition system that fires rockets over 500 feet at an incredible 100 m.p.h.! Cost: $39.95.

Homemade rocket motors: “Make your own commercial-quality rocket propellants as well as simple sugar and fertilizer fuels. Explicit diagrams show you how to make motor casings, nozzles, electric igniters, rocket designs and recovery devices with a complete list of suppliers.” Cost: $15.

Mini stun gun, 80,000 volts: “The smallest stun gun on the market. This new design and technology has enabled us to produce a full-strength stun gun in a compact size. The handy, small size allows you to slip it in a pocket or purse easily. Comes with detachable belt clip and wrist strap. Purchase one for each member of your family and those people you care about.” Cost: $39.95.

Combat assault vest: “Six large pockets hold 12 30-round 5.56-millimeter magazines. Two chest accessory pockets, two large inside pockets hold 12 more magazines, knife, pistol, etc. Quick-release buckles. One size fits all.” Cost: $89.

KGB photo sniper system: “Camera, shoulder stock, 300-millimeter lens, filters, carrying case. A tremendous value. This is THE system used by surveillance teams in former East Bloc countries.” Cost: $599.

Hammer heads: “New heavyweight sword canes nail trouble from point to pommel. Inside the polished black or mahogany wood shaft: a dagger blade of stainless steel, over 17 inches long. The next time some mook hassles you, introduce him to your hammer-headed friend.” Cost: $27.95.

Tear-gas pistol: “Click off the safety and fire a staggering blast of paralyzing tear gas. Thugs crawl away blind and gasping, or hold the trigger down for full-auto and jolt out an alley-sweeping five-foot-wide choking fog, crippling even multiple assailants.” Cost: $39.95.

Remember, none of these items kill people. People kill people.

Merry Christmas.