THE BIZ : Maybe There’s a Melrose Place in Heaven
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The people who inhabit “Melrose Place,” Fox’s steamy nighttime soap, may think they live in Los Angeles, but here are a few reasons why that is absolutely impossible:
* There is always an apartment available in the Melrose complex.
* There are no homeless people.
* No one ever complains about traffic or parking.
* No helicopters disturb their nighttime larks.
* Their cars are never stolen.
* There is only one washing machine in the building and no one ever finds still-wet clothes dumped on the floor.
* The city is never on fire.
* Everyone--doctors, reporters, corporate types--gets ready for work in light that looks distinctly like it is about 11 in the morning.
* No one ever gets a tan.
* It takes about 10 minutes to get from Melrose Place to the beach, weekend, weekday, rush hour, whenever. Why can’t we find this route in our Thomas Guide?
* No one owns a Thomas Guide.
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