COLUMN RIGHT/ JAMES P. PINKERTON : A Conservative Argument for Gay Marriage : Forming families leads to social stability. Why fight it?

From Hawaii, best known for surfing, suntanning and hula dancing, comes news that could be the Pearl Harbor of social issues in the 1990s--gay marriage.

In a ruling last month, Hawaii’s Supreme Court held that “marriage is a basic civil right” for same-sex couples, too. More litigation will surely follow elsewhere.

Having fought the leftist politics of gay liberation, does the right now fight the conservative instinct to form families? Choosing to act as if all gays are members of Queer Nation will alienate the majority of gays who seek to join the mainstream.

The most explosive opponent of gay politics is Sen. Jesse Helms (R-N.C.). He led the fight against Roberta Achtenberg’s nomination to be an assistant secretary of Housing and Urban Development. His reason? She’s a “damn lesbian.” These words helped Helms get on the national news but hurt the Republican Party. Consider the consequences.

First, Achtenberg was confirmed. She’s now free to pursue her agenda, able to slough off future criticism as merely more lesbian-bashing. Second, the GOP’s image as the party of homophobes is reinforced. That may be the goal of some conservatives, but it’s hard to call that a winning strategy for the party--look at the 1992 elections. Other Republicans of a more live-and-let-live bent had better speak up, lest Helms be seen as speaking for the party. Gays aren’t going away. They are organizing, fund-raising and voting. And they have friends and family. If the issue is abetting intolerance, silence equals death for the GOP.

Principles are worth fighting for. There was a legitimate case to be made against Achtenberg as an inexperienced left-wing ideologue. Unfortunately, that case wasn’t made; or if it was, it was buried under the fusillade of personal epithet. The vast majority of Americans, who don’t really care what Achtenberg does at home, dismissed the whole thing as just another unpleasant Washington incident.

What should conservatives think about gay marriage? The best answer comes from Ross Perot, who dismisses all social issues with his refrain: “I don’t have time to talk about it, I’m too busy trying to rebuild the job base of this country!” But Andrew Sullivan, the gay conservative editor of the New Republic, argues that the institution of gay marriage would actually advance the conservative cause: “It would foster social cohesion, emotional security and economic prudence.” Sullivan echoes George Gilder, the visionary conservative author. In “Men and Marriage,” Gilder maintains that marriage is conservatizing because it lengthens time horizons beyond immediate gratification. “Men need marriage,” he writes. Society does, too, because we all have an interest in getting men to settle down. Gilder calls it “converting barbarians into useful citizens.” Admittedly, Gilder is talking about heterosexual relationships, but the same logic applies to everyone. Doesn’t the social order consist of all of us?

The left has failed to solve the riddle of “diversity.” Its favored solution, political correctness, has been a totalitarian fiasco. Now it’s time for the right to step back into the debate with a constructive plan. Fortunately, it has already been written. Two centuries ago, the Founding Fathers wrestled with the dilemma of difference among Americans, and they came up with a wonderful solution: federalism. Nobody expects Salt Lake City to have the same ordinances as San Francisco, but it doesn’t help the commonweal if holy war erupts over those differences. In other words, different strokes for different folks. In Federalist Paper No. 51, Madison wrote: “In a free government, the security for civil rights must be the same as that for religious rights.”

Gays and lesbians are a permanent part of our melting pot. Most experts--not to mention gays themselves--agree that homosexuals are born that way. If so, it’s counterproductive to make them fugitives inside the legal system. We have enough real problems to worry about.

Lincoln had a better idea: You conquer your political opponents by making them your friends. The first Republican President also knew that he had to focus on one challenge at a time. The news that economic growth was an anemic .9% for the first quarter, combined with rising gold prices, is an early warning that all of us, straight and gay alike, are sinking into the quicksand of Carteresque stagflation. To pull ourselves out, we’re going to need all the friends we can get. If the real battle is against taxes and bureaucracy, conservatives should not open up a second front against potential allies.