Video Haiku

Haiku is the perfect kind of verse form for the video age reader--economical, pithy, graphic. A haiku poem is three lines and 17 syllables long, with five, seven, and five syllables on each line, respectively, and provides a brief word portrait that usually expresses an observation or reflection on some subject in nature.

The best-known haiku (translated from Japanese) is Basho’s:

An old pond--

And a frog jumps in--

The water’s sound.

Here are some haiku in which the subject matter is updated for today’s readers:

Entomologists,

Tell me what you make of this--

Videotapeworms.

Beverly Hillbillies?

Ergo, the Sherman Oakies

And the Bel-Airheads.

Sign-off--snow softly

Falls on a Trinitron’s screen.

Soon--Gumbel, Couric.

Video fireplace

Video aquarium--

So much for nature!

Colorized films noir

Are dumb as plays by Shakespeare

Performed by some mimes.

The set is broken.

No matter. Tonight I’ll read.

Where’s the TV Times?

September--prime time--

The new network shows debut,

Full of T&A.;

See the peacock’s hues.

They are rich and bright tonight.

It’s Sony-color.

Nee nee nee nee nee

Nee nee nee nee nee nee nee--

It’s “The Twilight Zone”!

Combine HBO

With smellovision--you get

Home Body Odor.

From the satellite

Into my living room bounced

An image of Sprite.

Pearl Harbor, nothing--

Sound of bombs--loud arcade sounds

From Japanese games.

Double images

Distort Arsenio Hall--

Asleep, who notices?

“I see a mountain!”

A sailor’s cry named the

Montevideo!

Famous for fifteen

Minutes? Was Warhol thinking

Of public access?

A Couch Potato--

The sound of one hand tuning--

This is Zen viewing.

Americans watch

Midway on Mitsubishis--

War dead roll over.

Sexy bodies on

Aerobics shows pump and writhe--

Exercise? Oh, sure ...

News ... Studs ... Taxi ...

I am weary, my lids droop.

There is no relief.

Not quite romantic

Is a flower pressed in a

Videocassette.

A sad calypso

Song is heard--”Vid-ay-o come

An’ me wan’ go home!”

The Shopping Channel

The salesperson’s foot is thrust

In your psychic door.